Narcissism always has a dual orientation, primarily positive or negative, highly dialectic, whereby it can’t exist in a pure state; it must be associated with factors in a syntonic or conflicted manner. Primary or secondary, integrated or disintegrated, healthy or pathological, mature or immature. Is the individual merged with their instincts and drive components, or opposed to them? The narc libido also manifests as the force of the sexual instinct in relation to self-preservation. In narcissism, the original opposition between ego instincts and sexual instincts has evolved to be inadequate. In a broad outline, there is a certain equilibrium and oscillation between object love and narc love, whereby one who is more capable of cathecting their own ego is more available to the object world. Psychoses, in terms of the withdrawal of the libido from objects and accumulation within the subject’s ego, result in the libido becoming narcissistic.
The person in love strips himself of his libido, to the benefit of the idealised love object, narcissistically invests in and overvalues, while the subject is diminished and wretched. In the case of two people in love, each a narc projection of the other, a shared state of exaltation enhances the value of both. Love excuses everything ( even crimes of passion are forgiven and pardoned), with special allowances made for lovers, as onlookers witness and revel in their self-inflating narcissism. The love object is, in effect, a two-fold mirror of himself; he may well belittle himself to accentuate the lofty grandeur of his own reflection. Whether the subject loves himself more or less does not depend on the amount of object libido available to him ( parental love and attention ), but on the relation between narcissistic and instinctual libido. The level of libidinal charge is subject to oscillations, where narcissism remains constant. Narcissism, rather than supporting the ego, opposes it through highly idealistic pursuits that outweigh ego-driven ones. Hostile to the ego, ego suppression denies reality by maintaining an illusion and various delusions.
Narcissism haS its own vis-à-vis instinctual energy
A cornerstone of repetition compulsion, primary masochism with a deep seat of guilt and negative therapeutic interaction. The ego repeats an action of behaviour for so long as its achievement remains incomplete or because it was thwarted in its time, a trauma linked to an earlier ego stage and constitutes an irreparable narc wound. The past life experience that man seeks to repeat is really its prenatal existence, a heaven from which he was traumatically expelled and never ceases and longs to recapture. A fundamental striving, an intense felt desire concerning life, not death, and the use of instinctual impulses. The death instinct relates to fear of impulses, which can verge on psychological death. The eros-thanatos dialectic constitutes a closed system, whether it is dead or alive, in which aspects can be attributed to one side or the other; nothing can be fully embraced, and questions remain unresolved. The child must change from a narc parasite and become an active individual who bears the burden of new experiences and existence, driven out of paradise. He must provide for his own needs and utilise an apparatus to manifest new functioning and structure. Confronted with such challenges, the child clings to the narc component, as he is incapable of such an abrupt transition, without parental support and attention. The child must learn to alleviate the crumbling of his narc autonomy by receiving external narc sustenance via his mother’s gaze.
The ego instincts provide the child with the energy to combat his sexuality, when stirred by instinctual impulses, still immature and unable to satisfy such instincts and pulled by powerful emotions which terrify him, torn between contradictory forces of horror and ecstasy of life. In the face of fear, the child will try to perpetuate his euphoria and curb instinctual impulses; he will integrate them by narcissizing them in a fantasy life. The child’s task is to assume a new responsibility and undertake the enormous task of restructuring his libido. He becomes embroiled in a continual conflict between instinctual striving and narcissistic fulfilment. For support of this struggle, he will project part of his narcissism onto an ad hoc psychic agency, called the ego ideal. Narcissism is unchanging; what evolves is the ego, which must receive at each stage of its evolution the narcissistic stamp of approval. Libido comes from the id, which sends part of this libido into an erotic object cathexes, whereupon the stronger ego tries to get hold of the object libido and force itself on the id as a love object.
Analysis enables the patient to increase his self-investment, whereby the ego has more and more libido to work with, thereby altering its position with respect to conflicts within the superego’s dynamic. The ego depends less on the superego and its approval/love, and the patient can love themselves more. The libido of the id passes to the ego, and the ideal state of having integrated their strivings with narcissistic investment is achieved. Narcissistic wholeness is the successful synthesis of instinctual forces and narcissism within the framework of the ego, represented in the unconscious by the phallic symbol.
Oral Eroticism
A merging of subject and object characterises oral narc fusion, the other’s thinking the same thoughts and feeling your emotions. The child forms a true narc union with their favourite toy, which they are unwilling to give up, and only extreme force can tear them away, causing tears and grief. The toy works as a transitional object, including both oral ( considered an extension of the body ) and anal characteristics ( generally dirty, torn and twisted ), bearing the marks of the child’s primal aggression. The oral character is always complaining, and whoever tries to satisfy him will never be good enough and is condemned to continued disappointment and frustration. The object is only potential and never real (they can’t bite it or grasp it), whereby any division between him and the environment generates conflict, and he cannot bring reality into his object relations. He craves and demands immediate and total gratification ( parental narcissism), a mode of satisfaction he refuses to give up. Lacking object and object mastery, he is bound to reject this compromise and submission to reality and renunciation of his narcissistic omnipotence. He lacks pragmatism and the capacity to act, and he disparages the operational techniques he employs to satisfy his drives.
He will continue to invest his libido in an excessive fashion of desire.
The love life of the oral character is always superficial and intense, as his strivings impel him to seek satisfaction in a series of random objects that will disappoint him, yet don’t dim his hope of finding the idealiesd partner. Otherwise, he will remain with the same object, perpetuated through absence, consistently entirely on object anticipation, the oil that keeps the flame burning. He projects his ego ideal on the object, serving as a narcissistic approving mirror, enhancing his weak sexual impotence. He adopts the attitude of a loner as he cannot develop satisfactory relationships, which also prevents him from narcissistically cathecting his behaviour. Rather than frustrating his needs, he prefers spontaneous gratification; he regards giving and receiving as the same, and everything occurs within the framework of fusion. What he receives should not be a reward for merit, but a personal favour, an act of grace.
The Oral Conflict
The confident optimism of the eager, brilliant social people for whom the protecting mother is always there and the pessimism and hunger that appears as vampirism, seeking and curiosity—the defence mechanism of the oral stage of orderliness, prudence and obstinacy. Preambivalence in the oral person indicates an absence of guilt; they are greedy and clamorous, fiercely demanding gratification yet unable to accept it. He will manage to provide satisfaction on his own instead of through objects, restoring narcissistic self-sufficiency and omnipotence. They retain the object by clinging to it, not by cathexis, and are easily abandoned and forgotten once split bad. He was loved too well, an absorbing love with instant gratification, unable to introject strength and firmness. Unable to tolerate oral frustration and disappointment. His explosive and disordered emotions indicate limited self-control, particularly in relation to others.
Orality is made up of both desire and generosity
Anal Object Relations
The child now has an object which is separate from him as subject, even opposes him, and now has a device, a source of pleasure and mastery, as well as an object that can be manipulated. The child can save his narcissistic honour by projecting all that is disappointing, weak, and insufficient onto the object and keeping within himself all that is positive and a source of narcissistic pleasure and satisfaction. He seeks to free himself from orsle dependency, to develop his own autonomy and power, and to make the object dependent on him. The goal is total triumph over the object, in which the object is gradually degraded, stripped of individuality, and reduced to a waste product. In the maturational process, the sense of reality must develop in parallel with the evolution of instincts to achieve optimal quality. He invests only in the domination and possession of the object and the establishment of superiority over it. The predominant factor in his structure is the disproportion between his drive and libidinal cathexis, which disrupts his sense of reality. This creates an underlying insecurity that is compensated for by support from social relations and group dynamics. He inserts himself into the collective because he does not validate his own intrinsic self, which might stress his uniqueness and isolate him from others. As he seeks domination, he readily identifies with a hierarchical system that justifies the subjugation of enemies and opposition.
Instinctual Maturation
The child must overcome significant obstacles before he can synthesise his instinctual satisfaction and his narcissistic longings, as his instinctual strivings are fraught with conflict. The child’s desire is directed toward the same object as his aggression, and he is faced with an insurmountable position. The child keeps the memory of his previous elated narcissistic happiness while encountering frustrations and dissatisfaction, resulting in narcissistic injury. His helplessness is experienced as inadequacy and insecurity, and the child starts to feel worthless and not good enough. To resolve narcissistic integrity, he projects his omnipotence onto his parents, wishing for approval and reassurance. With his instincts anrcsiiticall cathected, the dual process of amturation is achieved, and he can continue to feel valued. His narcissistic integrity is confirmed by those who possess godlike status via shows of affection and love. If this collaboration breaks down, the entire process becomes conflicted, reviving conflict between narcissism and ego, a gulf which may never be bridged.
He can indulge in mental and physical relaxation during vacations
The child remains fixated and immature, and can only preserve his narcissism by projecting blame onto external objects. The intensity of narcissistic injury is equivalent to the intensity of narcissistic subjectivity and hypertrophy. The child needs to become strong enough to provide his own narcissistic gratification abd develop his own resources to achieve it. The capacity to enjoy leisure, socially adapted activities, and self-gratification is a sign of maturation. The patient must learn to overcome the trauma by ceasing to relive it and progressing under pressure and resistance into a more advanced position of autonomy and narcissistic fulfilment. The goal of the analysis is to restructure the ego by normalising the patient’s narcissistic cathexes. Having to undergo relentless and objective investigation of the ego is to become healthy; his narcissism, which underlies the process, must remain intact. Narcissism can’t be integrated without being revalued, whereby the lack of unconscious value is experienced as castration. The phallus is the bridge that achieves narcissistic wholeness, for it joins the two unconscious lovers in coitus. Every instinctual achievement or enrichment of the child’s ego, serving to enhance self-esteem, assumes a phallic character in the unconscious. The acquisition of the phallus as therapy unfolds meets intense resistance, which is very hard to overcome.
The phallus also represents the body ego and the psychic ego. Ego integrity is linked to penis integrity. Within psychosexual development, there are two parallel paths: that of instinctual maturation and narcissistic cathexis, mastered via narcissistic reevaluation. The instinctual penis brings with it the possibility of fulfilling desire, also places limitations on desire, and the phallus will remain a symbol of omnipotence and greatness. Narcissism is originally non-instinctual and preambivalent; only when it comes into the process of instinctual development does it become conflicted. Development unfolds in relation to parallel guilt feelings, attached both to narcissism and instincts, the ego ideal and superego. The progress in the material anal realm ( financial gain, professional advancement) is accompanied by setbacks in he affective realm in the form of provoked narcissistic injury and loss of prestige, love, and self-esteem. In the course of this dialectic process, the libidinal energy will be attached to the element that in the moment is less conflicted. For example, a subject may accept castration at the instinctual level to obtain a reduction in conflict at the narcissistic level. At each stage, the subject has a new possibility for recovering narcissistic integrity based on the narcissistic cathexis of instinctual strivings. At the genital stage, unity is achieved via coitus, which unites two complementary partners and brings about a contained wholeness. The fantasy of seduction by the mother consists of a dual projection onto the mother, the boy’s wish to be included in a contained container union with her and at the same time a desire to castrate the father.
A study of depression
The child’s object world will consist of his body and instinctual impulses, hence his ego . he is confronted with having to integrate his body, drives as his own, to invest them with narcissistic libido. This integration cannot occur without tension and shocks, and is less satisfying than the original absolute primary narcissism. Tensions get in the way of this narcissistic entity and his budding ego. Each obstacle and complication which bests this process is experienced as a narcissistic injury. To achieve narcissistic integration of his instincts, he will lean on his parents and caretakers. The child forms a symbiotic unit with his mother, projecting his instinctual strivings onto her. The mother can serve in this capacity via reciprocity and identity, but by loving the child, she gives value and learning. The depressive, having developed a psychic ego and body ego, has failed to achieve narcissistic revolution and validation. When such confirmation is sufficient, it confers on the ego an extraordinary, pleasurable euphoria arising from enhanced functionality. Each time the child is confronted by an instinctual impulse that has not been narcissistically improved and integrated, the need for narcissistic confirmation will renew the pain of his narcissistic wound.
Reminded of paradise lost, with a searing sense of inadequacy and insignificance.
The child is filled with toxic shame, shame that the ego feels before its ego ideal. The child relives the primal trauma when the thrust of the positive narcissistic charge was intense, or frustration was crushing, or both combined. When not properly integrated, narcissism remains infantile, unadapted, giving a feeling of a shameful weakness, mental depression, despondency, disgrace and disgust. He experiences deep distress, total discouragement, and a sense of a break in life’s momentum; time has congealed, stopped dead, and he finds himself at an impasse. The depressive has a need to be loved, but uses it for narcissistic gratification or substitutes the craving with a substitute like alcohol, drugs, sports, or sex. Caught in a continuous state of need, he regularly turns to the same means for relief, even though he is aware of how destructive it is. He finds a special bond with the substitute, a kind of closeness that transcends reality in magnitude and quality.
Depression is a disorder of the ego, due to conflict between the ego and the ego ideal, having failed in its task of obtaining narcissistic satisfaction. Tension between the narcissistic ideal ego and the ego consists of a virtual decathexis, or rather, the disintegration of the ego, deprived of the necessary energy to perform body ego functions. If we look at the phenomenon of morning depression, where it’s hard to wake up, leaving sleep with deep regret. As the day progresses, motility improves, and full functioning is achieved by evening. Sleep could be called narcissistic regression (prenatal elation), with the awakened ego preparing for activity at a different level of instinctual development, which lacks narcissistic confirmation. he finds himself narcissistically deficient and therefore immobilised by a massive decathexis of the waking state. It is the ego that takes the blame, the target for the ideals berating and continues the vicious cycle of depression. The narcissistic agency punishes the faltering ego by decathecting it, its functioning impaired, and the ego becomes less capable of achieving success.
The ego’s sole goal is to recover the lost narcissistic ideal, attempting to prove itself worthy to the agency, which personifies its projected narcissism, and to gain approval and love from the agency. Since talents, image, and success count only in relation to the ego ideal, these accomplishments preoccupy all thinking and activity. The primary object (mother) should support the child via narcissistic confirmation to venture into he object world without danger to self-esteem. If this task fails, the child projects primary narcissism wholly onto the ego ideal. The depressive appears to be driven by a compulsion to find an idealised object. On one level, he seeks objects as long as he remains fixated on the frustrated mother, but at a deeper level, he rejects objects and does not trust himself or them. His lack of maturity makes him incapable of tolerating differences or positive experiences; he can therefore only keep attaching to a “looking glass ” object.
Similar in appearance, ideas, and emotional maturity.
In the end, the depressive will always confront their narcissistic image, face to face with themselves, full of contempt and hatred. The shadow ot the ego has fallen on the object as the shadow of the object fell on the ego at the time of the original trauma. Hence, the depressive will continue to seek an object conforming to a specific narcissistic stance and identity. Caught under dual domination of the ego ideal and maternal conflict (narcissistic and instinctual), we can observe the dual aspect of aggression and behaviour. When aggression is externalised, it takes a tyrannical and hostile form, provoking others and pouring out a torrent of reproaches and grievances. (injustice collector, social justice warrior ) . He repeats the same themes to mask his genuine maternal grievance, in which his own immaturity tempers his legitimate anger. He is doomed to a ceaseless repetition without being able to extricate himself from the impasse. Elative narcissistic discharge simultaneously releases instinctual aggression, which complicates and checks the narcissistic discharge via a recoil action. The depressive’s aggression results from his ascribing to the object an attribute or quality forbidden by the ego ideal. He does not accuse the object of committing a specific act; instead, he is open to criticism and humiliation from their perspective. The grievance is formulated as follows: “I am inadequate by nature, a victim of unjust treatment which prevents me from being myself.
The projection is unsuccessful, which accounts for its desperate and harried tone and the wronged agency; the narcissistic self refuses to accept the ploy. The ego ideal overrules the ego, and the primal narcissistic wound is suddenly exposed, reappearing when the projection is cancelled out. It can be said that depression is not instinctual impotence but the revival through the impotence of the narcissistic wound. The trigger for aggressive impulses toward the self is secondary to a breakdown in self-esteem. They do not love themselves and try to get rid of hatred via projection onto the bad object, looking for signs to justify their hatred.
The depressive’s aggression is immature, but he effect is self-destructive.
During psychosexual development, the narcissistic factor and instinctual maturation diverge and give rise to antithetical situations. The depressive reacts with extreme sensitivity to the slightest frustration, but also seized with panic before the slightest gratification that exceeds the threshold of the powers of his narcissistic cathexis, which is very low. The narcissistic agent assails the ego for its inadequacy, its inability to seek pleasure effectively and to accept it. Each failure accumulates, weakens ego performance, and diminishes functional value and the ability to act. Narcissism is inherently opposed to recognition of its own failure , projected onto the future ego, which will bear the marks of this baptism forever. The conflict between narcissistic agency and operational ego leads to dysphoria on the one hand and elation on the other when working together in alliance. The subject’s object choice is narcissistic, because his own narcissism is conflicted and not sufficiently integrated. He can’t live without continuous external narcissistic gratification; hence, when they lose the object, they collapse into despair. As the libido withdraws from the object into the self, the depressive is unable to manage and integrate the new level of libido. This excess libido can only add to the negative libido and aggravate his narcissistic equilibrium even more than before.
In the course of new interaction, the narcissistic agency withdraws libido whenever the ego tries to make adjustments with varying degrees of vigour until a form of decomposition occurs. The symptoms of neurotic depression appear, including an inexplicable fatigue, lack of spirit and indefinable malaise. (melancholic depression) . The loss of self-confidence and the desire to improve oneself result in a lack of narcissistic cathexis. The subject reports feeling impoverished and naturally diminished, which affects his overall self-esteem.
